A high school biology teacher spends his free time as a diaper-wearing adult baby to battle the memories of his abusive childhood.
Dillian Blake, 21, discovered the adult baby diaper lovers (ABDL) community in 2014, and quickly realized he enjoyed dressing up as children aged three to seven.
Dillian, who suffered emotional and physical abuse between the ages of five and 13, says dressing as a child makes him feel safe and secure.
He explained: ‘My birth mother had a boyfriend, who I thought was someone to look up to and aspire to be – but in reality, he wasn’t.
‘He would drink alcohol and every night he would come into my room and wake me up by punching me or hitting me in the head.
During the day he would pin me down or start fighting me to “man me up” by flicking lit cigarettes on me or hitting me because he didn’t like that I was more girly even as a kid.
‘This would last up until I was in secondary school, when they both left to move across the country without ever thinking about her kids.’
Recalling the comfort discovering the ABDL community brought, Dillian added: ‘There is where I truly felt secure; where people came together for the same reason…
‘I sometimes do go out in public while I have nappies on. I let them show over my shorts, so that if I bend down or my shirt comes up, they will be there.
‘But my big role is; I don’t want to force anything on anyone.
So, I never go extreme when I’m out in public. Because that can destroy and give our community the wrong name.
‘If I’m by myself I don’t get to really role play; I just put on a diaper and put a pacifier in and it just puts me at ease.
‘If I’m with friends, with some I role play as more of a big brother.
‘Where they are more of the baby, I’m more in charge of them.’
Dillian is keen to dispel the notion that the ABDL community is linked to pedophilia, and says its members do not find children sexually attractive.
He added: ‘We find comfort and therapy in wearing diapers and baby stuff while able to regress back to younger ages without fear.
‘What we do falls under the regression therapy which psychologists use to help with anxiety all the way to more complex mental health problems such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) by using physical and mental grounding methods.’
Dillian says he has told some of his friends about being an adult baby, and was relieved when they supported him.
He added that his family ‘don’t know the full extent’ of his hobby.
Dillian says being an adult baby can also make finding dates difficult.
He explained: ‘It controls a lot of who I date; I’ve learned to filter people by trying to figure out what kind of kinks they are into if any and I kind of play with that knowledge.
‘I always try to push the boundaries so when they find out about my hobby, they won’t drop off the face of the earth. So, it has made it very hard overall in life to date.